In my last blog, I mentioned how I was able to rationalise my decisions to convince myself I was doing the right thing. I appreciate we may not all think this way, but it was certainly true for me. I just didn't realise it until I was in a whole heap of trouble. I wanted to give a few real life of examples, from myself but also from people that have e-mailed me from my blog, which really accentuate just how much we can rationalise irrationality, but also how we can focus on short-term returns, rather than playing the 'long game'. When I'm running low on money, I focus on what the return from a bet will be relative to my starting amount - I've put in £1,000 this month and only have £200 left. I need to at least get back to £1,000. Please. I tell myself I'll stop when I get to £1,000. I made a mistake. I just need my money back. I'll therefore focus on the returns. Winning £50 off my £200 won't get me there. I'd need to at least double my money. If I can do that, I'll have more money which I can play slightly safer with - e.g. the more money I have, although the odds may be safer, I'll have a bigger return because I have more money to bet on it in the first place. But I need that 'double your money or more bet' to start with. Sounds irrational to me now - I'm more likely to lose all my money. The whole £200 trying to win £500, rather than having £250 with the safer bet. But I rationalised that irrationality whilst betting. And we all know that if I had reached that £1,000, I'd change the goalposts. I'd rationalise by saying 'hey, one more win and I'll take out my £1,000 and use what I have left to win more'. That never happens. I used to bet a lot on tennis. And when I say used to, I stopped 11 days ago, so not all that long ago really. Tennis games usually happened throughout the day, but didn't go too far into the evening. This caused me a problem whether I won or lost during the day. - if I won, I'd feel I had some 'free money' to use; and - if I lost, I'd feel I need to win back my money ASAP. Win back my money so I have something to use my money on tomorrow for the tennis. The whole 'I can play safer odds if I have more money' idea So, because I was so focused on winning my millions in one day (winning back my losses), I started to bet in the evening. And I started to bet on things I knew nothing about. Things that were pure speculation. I bet on Iraqi football matches. On basketball. On baseball. Ice hockey. Volleyball. Futsal. Badminton. Golf. Motor Sports. I didn't really know enough about any of these things. But as I rationalised above, I needed to keep betting whether I was up or down. I used to play the odds. Go for the 'safe bet'. I put an accumulator on all the 'safe' bets to get a slightly bigger return. I would win all bets of the accumulator, apart from the 'safest' of bets. That bet you might as well not have even put on because it made no difference at all to the overall return. On basketball, I lost a bet with odds of 1/150. A 0.6% return. £100 would return £100.60. 60p return. Albeit I actually bet over £5,000 on this match. I also bet over £5,000 on an Iraqi football match. The on-line markets for football usually give a naturally better return than for other spots. I used to be on tennis, especially the men in open's, because they were more consistent with their performances. Football can be affected more-so by a bad decision, a bit of luck, a harsh red card, one moment of magic, and so forth. So at odds of 2/5, I was going with the clear favourite to win the match. I would win back around £2,000 on top of my stake. My team went on to lose 4-0. When you go through a losing streak, you further rationalise riskier bets, and in the very short-term you end up spiralling out of control. In this moment it's very easy to lose all of your money, and all of your possessions. My advice would be to recognise when you're doing this, and stop. How we all do that, I have no idea. I haven't managed that yet. Maybe it's not possible....not possible unless you stop gambling completely, which is now what I'm striving for. It appears I'm not alone in my way of thinking. One guy messaged me who had saved for a house deposit, but due to the purchase falling through, was sat on a large sum of cash. He thought he could double this through gambling. After some losses, he bet his last £2,000 on a basketball match he knew nothing about. So caught up in the moment, he was able to rationalise why betting on a match he knew nothing about was a good idea. He lost the bet. Has anyone else found themselves betting on something they knew nothing about, or betting on long odds, because at the time they've felt like they HAD to do it, even though on reflection they knew it was the wrong thing to do? This can be applied to both winning and losing. In hindsight, I've put some crazy bets on that I've won, but I know that I only did this through rationalising an irrational decision. Let me know your thoughts below: Whenever I talk to people about gambling, unless they’ve gone through it themselves, they find it hard to understand how you can run up such debt without ever stopping. Effectively, why do you continue to chase your losses, when ultimately you know you’re going to lose? I say ‘lose’ because at some point, eventually, you will end up with nothing. Let me take you through some of my own thoughts when gambling. This will help me document my pattern of behaviour, and hopefully if I ever get the urge in the future, I can recognise this behaviour and stop before it’s too late. Whenever I start gambling again, I think I know what matches were going to come in. I think I’m quite sensible about it; I use my extensive knowledge of certain sports (gained through gambling for the past 7 years) and make a risk-return based calculation. The odds may look long, but I may know from a previous game someone looked out of form, had a small injury or the match up favours one person, irrespective of, for example, their world rankings. And in general, I win the first few bets. I’m always up. And I always take part of this money out of my account. I tell myself that I won’t put that money back in. I’ll use my winnings, and I won’t be any worse off if I lose those winnings. Inevitably, those winnings go. I’m so focussed on trying to win back ALL of my losses, or enough to pay off ALL of my debts in one go. Then I need to put some more money back in, with the view that if I win a few games, I’ll have some more ‘risk-free’ money to play with again. I start to rationalise it. I won a few games, don’t worry, it’ll happen again. It’s not a real bet, or it’s not gambling, if you know you’re going to win. Or at least that’s what I tell myself. That’s how I rationalise my continued gambling. Despite all my debts, I continue to have an overly optimistic view. But when you lose the first few bets, you find yourself desperately needing money to win back your ‘real losses’. There are no ‘risk-free’ bets anymore. You’re playing to win back the money you put in, which you only put in to try to win back all your previous losses. It’s a vicious circle, and once you’re caught up in it it’s very hard to get out of. I would know. Because I’m successful a few times, with my initial bets, I continue to think that I just need a bit more ‘luck’. That if I wasn’t unlucky on a few close games or a few points/goals going against me, then I could be sitting on a decent amount of money. I tell myself that when I get to a certain amount, I’ll stop. I won’t bet anymore. But I never do. I get greedy. I always want more. Once I lose all my money, I then take a different view. I think ‘oh, why didn’t I just stop when I had some money? Why did I keep gambling? I had enough money to pay the mortgage this month, even if it wasn’t enough to pay the minimum payment on my credit cards. It’s a start.’ But this pattern of thinking comes post loss. Never pre loss. And whilst I continue to think in this way, I now realise that I’m never going to win back my money through gambling. To put this in another way, gambling isn’t going to solve my gambling problem. Once you’re in debt through gambling, I think it’s somewhat natural you’ll try to win this back through gambling, which is why it’s so dangerous and addictive. After all, if you weren’t successful at gambling at some point, then it’s unlikely you’d think you could win back your losses / win more money. And when you’re in debt from gambling, EVERYTHING is a reminder of the loss you’re in. The credit card statements and bank statements that come through the door. The final demands for payment. The declined cards when you’re trying to do your weekly shop or pay for petrol. The chasing phone calls. The sport that’s on TV. Your friends who talk about their sensible £10 bets. I could go on and on. I believe this pressure is always there, sometimes consciously, but always subconsciously. And it’s this pressure that makes you rationalise your gambling. I need to force myself to think in a different way. That my money this month may only pay back £10 of debt. That interest takes up the rest. That I still can’t meet that final demand for payment by the deadline. But that’s certainly better than losing all of my money where I’m unable to pay anything. Where I’m in more trouble. And where it becomes easier to rationalise even more gambling to win back the increased losses. For those of you who haven’t got to this stage, please use my mistakes and experiences as a guide. Some people say gambling is only a problem when you’re losing. If you’re addicted to gambling – be it addicted to the buzz of being right, of winning a large amount of money, or simply the adrenaline rush that gambling can give you – it’s still a huge problem. I say this because what happens when the luck runs out, and when you start losing? I’ll take you through my personal journey of my biggest loss in the next blog. |
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