Whenever I talk to people about gambling, unless they’ve gone through it themselves, they find it hard to understand how you can run up such debt without ever stopping. Effectively, why do you continue to chase your losses, when ultimately you know you’re going to lose? I say ‘lose’ because at some point, eventually, you will end up with nothing. Let me take you through some of my own thoughts when gambling. This will help me document my pattern of behaviour, and hopefully if I ever get the urge in the future, I can recognise this behaviour and stop before it’s too late. Whenever I start gambling again, I think I know what matches were going to come in. I think I’m quite sensible about it; I use my extensive knowledge of certain sports (gained through gambling for the past 7 years) and make a risk-return based calculation. The odds may look long, but I may know from a previous game someone looked out of form, had a small injury or the match up favours one person, irrespective of, for example, their world rankings. And in general, I win the first few bets. I’m always up. And I always take part of this money out of my account. I tell myself that I won’t put that money back in. I’ll use my winnings, and I won’t be any worse off if I lose those winnings. Inevitably, those winnings go. I’m so focussed on trying to win back ALL of my losses, or enough to pay off ALL of my debts in one go. Then I need to put some more money back in, with the view that if I win a few games, I’ll have some more ‘risk-free’ money to play with again. I start to rationalise it. I won a few games, don’t worry, it’ll happen again. It’s not a real bet, or it’s not gambling, if you know you’re going to win. Or at least that’s what I tell myself. That’s how I rationalise my continued gambling. Despite all my debts, I continue to have an overly optimistic view. But when you lose the first few bets, you find yourself desperately needing money to win back your ‘real losses’. There are no ‘risk-free’ bets anymore. You’re playing to win back the money you put in, which you only put in to try to win back all your previous losses. It’s a vicious circle, and once you’re caught up in it it’s very hard to get out of. I would know. Because I’m successful a few times, with my initial bets, I continue to think that I just need a bit more ‘luck’. That if I wasn’t unlucky on a few close games or a few points/goals going against me, then I could be sitting on a decent amount of money. I tell myself that when I get to a certain amount, I’ll stop. I won’t bet anymore. But I never do. I get greedy. I always want more. Once I lose all my money, I then take a different view. I think ‘oh, why didn’t I just stop when I had some money? Why did I keep gambling? I had enough money to pay the mortgage this month, even if it wasn’t enough to pay the minimum payment on my credit cards. It’s a start.’ But this pattern of thinking comes post loss. Never pre loss. And whilst I continue to think in this way, I now realise that I’m never going to win back my money through gambling. To put this in another way, gambling isn’t going to solve my gambling problem. Once you’re in debt through gambling, I think it’s somewhat natural you’ll try to win this back through gambling, which is why it’s so dangerous and addictive. After all, if you weren’t successful at gambling at some point, then it’s unlikely you’d think you could win back your losses / win more money. And when you’re in debt from gambling, EVERYTHING is a reminder of the loss you’re in. The credit card statements and bank statements that come through the door. The final demands for payment. The declined cards when you’re trying to do your weekly shop or pay for petrol. The chasing phone calls. The sport that’s on TV. Your friends who talk about their sensible £10 bets. I could go on and on. I believe this pressure is always there, sometimes consciously, but always subconsciously. And it’s this pressure that makes you rationalise your gambling. I need to force myself to think in a different way. That my money this month may only pay back £10 of debt. That interest takes up the rest. That I still can’t meet that final demand for payment by the deadline. But that’s certainly better than losing all of my money where I’m unable to pay anything. Where I’m in more trouble. And where it becomes easier to rationalise even more gambling to win back the increased losses. For those of you who haven’t got to this stage, please use my mistakes and experiences as a guide. Some people say gambling is only a problem when you’re losing. If you’re addicted to gambling – be it addicted to the buzz of being right, of winning a large amount of money, or simply the adrenaline rush that gambling can give you – it’s still a huge problem. I say this because what happens when the luck runs out, and when you start losing? I’ll take you through my personal journey of my biggest loss in the next blog. Leave a Reply. |
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