Purpose of this blog:
I set this blog up to help me document my own gambling journey, as it's a way of getting on paper my own thoughts. I hope this helps me in the times I need it, in that it can provide something for me to reflect on and find strength in. I also sincerely hope that I can help others through sharing my experiences, and wherever possible, help others along their own journey.
Whilst everyone may not be able to relate to my blog directly, I hope it can still give some useful insight into the mind of another gambler. I cover some person stories, some which are hard to put in writing, but some which I need to do for my own recovery.
I'd also like to include some areas of research on my blog as I try to understand more about the psychology of gambling. In essence, I want to understand more about what really drives us to gamble. Sometimes it's clear, but sometimes it's not. Sometimes after you've bet and lose you feel terrible. Only by understanding our motivations can we identify a cure. Please do fill in the survey or send me an e-mail if you have any comments or specific areas you'd like to understand more about.
My gambling figures:
When I started looking for self-help gambling books, I seemed to focus on how much someone had won, and how much debt they were in. I think this was my inner gambler. I thought I always had an edge; I could always spot that sure winner that everyone else had missed. As I focused on numbers myself, I thought I'd include some of my own for reference:
- biggest single bet (from memory): £225,000 (I lost*)
- largest figure in bank account (cashed out from betting sites): c.£500,000
- total amount bet**: £20,000,000+
- current debt: £150,000+
*And I still remember this bet. It was a tennis match; it went to 13-11 in a tie break after the player I bet on was 5-1 up in the tie break. Match points at 6-4, 6-5, 7-6, 8-7 all the way up to 11-10, before he lost 3 straight points in a row. I remember my feeling when he lost; that I was just unlucky. That I should've won. That next time my luck would be different and I'd win the bet (what's known as Gambler’s Fallacy). My focus was on the next bet. On thinking how I could turn the money I had left into more. On chasing my losses.
**This is a rough estimate. When looking at one week’s bet history, one of the largest betting sites could not load all my transactions. My total amount wagered in the days it could tell me was around £4 million.
Who am I?
I work in finance. I've won a number of international and national awards for my achievements at work. My background is that I'm a qualified accountant and risk manager. Personality tests strongly show I'm a 'logical thinker'. To stereotype myself (and sorry to other accountants!), I’d say given my background I'm more likely to be risk-averse. Being a logical thinker I’d thought I wouldn't have a gambling problem. But I do. And no matter who you are, what job you may have or even what formal qualifications you have, we can all get drawn in to the lure of gambling.
I set this blog up to help me document my own gambling journey, as it's a way of getting on paper my own thoughts. I hope this helps me in the times I need it, in that it can provide something for me to reflect on and find strength in. I also sincerely hope that I can help others through sharing my experiences, and wherever possible, help others along their own journey.
Whilst everyone may not be able to relate to my blog directly, I hope it can still give some useful insight into the mind of another gambler. I cover some person stories, some which are hard to put in writing, but some which I need to do for my own recovery.
I'd also like to include some areas of research on my blog as I try to understand more about the psychology of gambling. In essence, I want to understand more about what really drives us to gamble. Sometimes it's clear, but sometimes it's not. Sometimes after you've bet and lose you feel terrible. Only by understanding our motivations can we identify a cure. Please do fill in the survey or send me an e-mail if you have any comments or specific areas you'd like to understand more about.
My gambling figures:
When I started looking for self-help gambling books, I seemed to focus on how much someone had won, and how much debt they were in. I think this was my inner gambler. I thought I always had an edge; I could always spot that sure winner that everyone else had missed. As I focused on numbers myself, I thought I'd include some of my own for reference:
- biggest single bet (from memory): £225,000 (I lost*)
- largest figure in bank account (cashed out from betting sites): c.£500,000
- total amount bet**: £20,000,000+
- current debt: £150,000+
*And I still remember this bet. It was a tennis match; it went to 13-11 in a tie break after the player I bet on was 5-1 up in the tie break. Match points at 6-4, 6-5, 7-6, 8-7 all the way up to 11-10, before he lost 3 straight points in a row. I remember my feeling when he lost; that I was just unlucky. That I should've won. That next time my luck would be different and I'd win the bet (what's known as Gambler’s Fallacy). My focus was on the next bet. On thinking how I could turn the money I had left into more. On chasing my losses.
**This is a rough estimate. When looking at one week’s bet history, one of the largest betting sites could not load all my transactions. My total amount wagered in the days it could tell me was around £4 million.
Who am I?
I work in finance. I've won a number of international and national awards for my achievements at work. My background is that I'm a qualified accountant and risk manager. Personality tests strongly show I'm a 'logical thinker'. To stereotype myself (and sorry to other accountants!), I’d say given my background I'm more likely to be risk-averse. Being a logical thinker I’d thought I wouldn't have a gambling problem. But I do. And no matter who you are, what job you may have or even what formal qualifications you have, we can all get drawn in to the lure of gambling.