No one said it's easy to get over gambling. Many of us have been trying over and over again to give up this addiction, but an addiction is exactly what it is. I'm posting this on 30 November, but let's call it 1 December 2015. Day 1 again. I'm going to set myself a target - 24 months gamble free. This won't allow me to be debt free, but it'll certainly help. Why 2 years then? One of my best friends and I had always said we'd go to the 2014 Brazil World Cup. He grew up in Brazil before moving to the UK, where I met him at school. Ever since the World Cup was going to be in Brazil, we said we'd go. He was planning on going with a bunch of Uni mates too, and I was in a good job with a good income, easily saving a thousand pound a month. In theory, I had plenty of money. Living at home, expensing the majority of my food and travel from working away from home, it was easy to save the majority of my pay packet. When my friend spoke to me about booking Brazil, it was in December 2013. Some of his uni friends couldn't afford to fly out to Brazil; the costs for flights and hotels sky rocketed for the World Cup period! But nevertheless, him and another friend were booking flights and tickets, and up he popped on Facebook with the details. At this point I had to break to him, after years of saying we'd do it, I couldn't afford it - I'd turned to gambling, and I was in massive financial trouble. His words back to me were 'you were the one person who I thought would always come because you could afford it'!. I felt I let him down, our friendship down, and I'd missed out on a fantastic opportunity to go and see some of the world, and see where my friend grew up! That was 2 years ago, and here I am still - day 1 again. Letting everyone down, or at least that's what it feels like. So, that's where my 24 months comes from - I can look back 2 years and remember that conversation. Looking forward 2 years, I don't want to be in the same place. I want to be able to say 2 years gamble free. Not debt free, but on the road to recovery, and debt free will come in time. My problem is that I always focus on the wrong things. Even if I "let go" my past losses, I'll instead decide to focus on what I can't do. I can't go to the cinema with friends, can't afford a night out, can't pay those bills, and so forth. I recently sat my exams, and I had to look in all my bags, under the sofa, and anywhere else for £1. I didn't have ANY money anywhere. I maxed out borrowings from friends. My 10 credit cards were maxed and over the limit. Declined for all loans (even at 60% interest...), and I needed that £1 to be able to pay for parking to get to my exam! Thankfully I found my £1, but that's how close I was to not being able to sit my exams after 5 months of study. I don't want to be in a place in 2 years were I look back and regret the last two years. I may regret betting in the past, my debt position, or something else, but separating this from the 2 years, I want the next 2 years to give me some hope. And I don't want anyone to be in the position where you're having to search for £1 to live... Today I sit in front of three letters chasing for payment. My mortgage payment bounced from my account, as did my internet direct debit, as I have no money at all right now. My electricity payment is overdue and I'm being chased for payment and threatened with debt collectors. All this whilst my friends, with more modest jobs, are loving life, having that £10 to buy a round at the pub and have a laugh with friends. Those losses aren't important in life. They're gone. And life's tough when you're in debt. There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. But I keep trying to gamble my way out. And this can't be the answer. It's not bad luck for losing, no matter what you tell yourself. I tried to do this at the weekend - I would have won £25k on an accumulator if Everton won against Bournemouth in the Premier League. Bournemouth scored in the 97th minute, when there were only 5 minutes of added time, which was the only leg I lost. Bad luck? No. That's betting. You win some, you lose some. But overall, you'll lose. No matter if you were a £1,000,000 up like me, or £50 up. If you keep going, it'll be lost - I promise you that. An emotive call for everyone reading this to learn from my pain. Let me be the example of what not to do, and focus instead on what's important in life. Honestly the long game is the way forward; building week by week. If I hadn't bet again I'd still be in heeps of trouble, but I could afford a beer with a friend to cheer me up. Instead I'm drinking water I got from work, on my own, typing this on an internet package which I can't afford to pay for. Where would you rather be?! So, who's with me on my 24 month journey? Feel free to set yourself a different goal - make it relevant and personal to you. Try to take the focus away from money, or when you will have repaid your debt. Such a financially focussed goal gets you thinking about money, which in turn makes you want to win it back (trust me!). Focus on something more emotive. Something that has a deeper meaning than money alone. And let that be your inspiration going forward. Let me know what journey's you're on, and we'll work on this together.
Sean
15/12/2015 02:01:42 am
I'm with you. I'm in a similar boat, racked up a bunch of debt and reaching the end of my credit lines. This is my first foray into scaling gambling way back and eventually quitting. What struck me about your story is that once you get into 10s of thousands of dollars in debt, it's easy to believe that the only way to get out of it is gambling more. You made a good point that quitting for 2 years won't solve your debt but you won't be worse off. After reading your post, I'm starting a journal to document my journey today. Thank you.
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Tracy
23/1/2016 06:14:05 pm
My partner is in debt and denial of his gambling problem. I have approached almost every conversation with a focus on the money & financial hardships we have endured. Your perspective to not focus on the money aspect was a real eye opener. I appreciate your candor. I'm sure there are lots of things I have done "wrong" in this situation, but I just don't know how to help when he doesn't want any. I wish you much success <3
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Tanya
8/3/2020 04:40:48 pm
March 8, 2020, Day 1 gamble free. Will need 2 - 3 years to pay off all my debt. Tired of hardships in life. 51 yo, 60, 000 CAD in debt. DO not know how to start and how to proceed. How is your journey now? 2020?
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