Scroll down the page a little bit, and you’ll see I set myself a challenge of not gambling for 24 months – with good reasons and the best intentions. I’m a fair chunk of the way through that 24 months now, but my clock reset, and I’m back trying to build up the number of months I’ve been gamble free! In my most recent post, I said about taking things one step at a time – setting small, achievable goals that all contribute towards a bigger ambition. Clearly my approach back in 2016 was at odds with what I’m trying to do now! And it seems like a very small change, a change where you’re still trying to achieve the same end goal, but in your mind you focus on a shorter, rather than a longer, period. Can this really work?! Your mind is an incredibly powerful tool; it’s what got us addicted to gambling in the first place. And we got addicted from an initial bet, or some initial success. At that stage we never thought we’d end up where we are. And your subconscious has a lot to answer for – that part of the brain that’s making decisions and pointing us in a certain direction without us necessarily knowing it. I quite enjoy running (well I enjoy the feeling after I’ve finished, more so than when I’m actually running!), and some of you may be able to relate to this analogy… Whenever I’m running, I’ll usually set myself an overall goal. This could be to run a certain distance, which for me is to run say 5k or 10k, but you may also want to run a half marathon or a marathon. Or you may also have a time goal; to run for 20 minutes, 30 minutes, or maybe for 1 hour. When I’m actually running, I try to put all of my effort into it and see it as an objective to run faster or farther than before, and as such there are various points during the run where I think how nice it’d be to just stop! However, what keeps me going is that I break the run down into small achievable parts. If I’m running 20 minutes, I aim to get to 5 mins, and then from there to run 3 more mins to 8 mins, and then get to 12 mins, 15 mins, 18 mins and then finally to 20 mins. I break down my run into small achievable parts; I don’t think about the 20 minutes necessarily – I know I need to get there, but my goals are to reach the next milestone. By doing this, I can focus on just a few minutes, and once I achieve that, I then focus on the next few minutes. Small, realistic, achievable goals. I never think about the 20 minutes; when I’m running and get to 5 minutes, if I think that there are still 15 minutes to go and I’m out of breath, it’s really hard to keep going. But if I tell myself the next milestone is 3 minutes away, and keep building it up that way, it really helps me. It appears the same is true for gambling; instead of working out how many months I need or want to be gamble free, I’m focusing on small, achievable parts. My next goals is to reach the end of November, and thereafter my goal is to focus on reaching the 17th December (5 month gamble free anniversary), and then to reach Christmas. Sure, I’d love to be gamble free for 10 years or more, and by then I may be out of debt, but I’m not thinking that far ahead. It’s too far away and brings negative or unwelcome thoughts. These more achievable goals I’ve been setting are helping me bit by bit, little by little, and I hope they may help you too. Please do share with me your own reflections; what you’ve learned from relapses and how you may be doing things differently this time. All the best, AGJ Leave a Reply. |
AuthorFind out more about me here.
|