I was recently talking to one of my close friends about gambling and my struggles. He finds it hard how people can make such 'irrational decisions'. Naturally, irrationality will be hard to understand for a rational person. Yet personality tests show that I'm a strong rational / logical thinker, so how is it that I can make irrational decisions?
By irrational, I mean that I continue to bet even though at the end I know I'll lose. I could be up £1,000 or £100,000 in a week, but fast forward a month, I know I would've lost all that money. So to continue betting, when you know based on past experience you're going to lose, doesn't really seem to make sense on the face of it. Whenever I start betting I start as a completely level-headed guy. I have modest targets. I may start with £1,000, and if I win £500 with it, that's enough to stop. Why? Because it pays for that one 'unpayable' bill this month. It covers the interest on a credit card, so I feel better about my gambling debt, because this month it's like I'm not in trouble or paying interest - all because of this additional 'free' money I've been able to win. That's my rationale for gambling. Well, that and the fact that I think I'm going to win the bet. And we must all think that...I mean, no one puts on a bet on knowing 100% they're going to lose. Fast forward a few bets - let's say a few wins, and all of a sudden I found I've exceed my targets. I may now be up to £2,000 including my original stake. Great...made £1,000 profit. But in my mind I know that I've blown £100,000 of my own savings, and god knows how much profit made from previous betting phases. I start to think more about my losses, and the debt that I'm in. £2,000 is merely a splash in the ocean. I need an awful lot more money to make a dent in my debt, to make a difference. I start to focus on the next bet and the returns. On this basis, that sure bet that win's me a 10% return, doesn't really seem worth it. I need to double my money. So because I'm focussing on wiping out my debt all in one go, rather than thinking 'every little helps', I've set myself up for a fall. I've rationalised why it's okay to take a more risky bet. Why it's okay to keep gambling. To keep betting. Now for any rational person, you'd think 'hey, I'm in trouble. I'm struggling to pay the bills. If someone offered me an extra £1,000 this month to pay some bills, if I find £1,000 in the street, then I'd take it. I'd use it wisely. It'd help me this month with my debt'. Makes complete sense right? So now let's apply the rationale that I use when gambling - with my thought process, I'd turn down that £1,000. I'd say well hey, that's not enough. It won't make a difference. If I make £50,000 then that might make a difference. So I need to work towards £50,000. Anything less doesn't seem worth it. When I'm gamble free, or when I've lost my last bet, I know the £1,000 was a good opportunity and it would really help. But I lose my sense of rationality when gambling, without realising it. You find when gambling you become over confident, and this over confidence allows you to rationalise things in your mind. you convince yourself you're doing the right thing, and that it makes sense. You therefore rationalise your irrationality, and convince yourself you're making a rational choice. Of course this isn't true. No matter what I do, I always fall into this same trap. And that's how I know that no matter what I do, even if I am lucky with a few bets, in the long run I'm never going to come out with more money. The only thing I'll have more of is debt. Debt and disappointment. For me, I've learned this the hard way. For those following my blog, I'd urge you to think back in time about how much you've put in, and how much you ultimately come out with. Sure, I've been up at times and withdrawn this from my betting account. I've used it to pay off some credit card amounts. But fast forward a few days, weeks or months, and that credit I paid off ultimately ends up back in my betting account. And with time, my betting account, and my bank account, show the dreaded £0! As mentioned, when gambling you'll be able to rationalise your decisions. You'll look back to past wins and think you can win again, and that you just need to be more disciplined and take money out when you hit your target. That you promise you'll never put this back in your gambling account once you've withdrawn it. But how often has this happened? Extend the period you're looking at and how much are you 'up' overall? I had to take a good hard look at myself and think about my losses. No matter what I did, what I told myself, what I thought I would do differently this time, it never happened. Only by thinking about this can I accept I won't win my money back through gambling. And that hurts. It hurts because I thought I was good at gambling. Didn't my past huge wins show that? The wins where the odds were massively against me but I won convincingly? Well my bank account balance shows the true story. The black and white. Not all the other things I tell myself to make myself feel better. I now accept I can't win back my money gambling, and only by really understanding and believing that, can I reach the next step in my recovery.
johnson
16/6/2015 02:20:00 am
This is a great post and a must read for all gamblers. Thank you.
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Joe
17/6/2015 12:19:57 am
I do like this blog but you should not solicit for donations. Two reasons. Firstly, if you are a compulsive (or if you say rational-irrational gambler) you will, at some point, decide to invest that money in a gamble. That means that money donated on 'upgrading the website' is for gambling. You say you can't even hang onto money to pay debts, so how can you hang onto the donations? Donations would not help you. Secondly, I believe that there are lots of free sources of help available. Your (free) blog looks good so keep it that way and keep away from 'free' money. I know what it is like to be highly intelligent and desperate for money.
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