So, it’s been a while since my last post. Well, a few days and the weekend. I’ve been keeping busy – a few things have come up in both work and personal life. Whilst it’s kept me busy, it’s also been hard to deal with at times. Lots of pressure. Lots of things going wrong, or all happening at the same time.
I’ve said keeping busy is good for me, because when I have time, this can contribute to me starting gambling again – it can be a catalyst for other trigger cues, or a rigger cue itself. I’m not entirely sure myself. All I know, is that keeping busy is good for me right now! I mentioned as well as being busy, so things haven’t quite gone to plan, especially in personal life. This can happen to everyone – I’m not suggesting I’m the only one with other problems aside my gambling. But interestingly I haven’t wanted to turn to gambling as a temporary fix to my other issues. Or, as I explored in a previous entry, I’m not trying to be an ‘escapist gambler’. I very much fit in the action camp of gamblers. I know the poll results were split, so you may not all be able to relate directly to my thoughts on wanting to win big, rather than escaping other personal issues, but I do believe there’s some common ground. I’ve been having a few interesting conversations over my e-mail recently with followers of my blog. The action vs escapist differentiation has been questioned. And rightly so; at least to a certain extent. The reason I say this is because one could lead to another. I started out on my ‘gambling road to destruction’ through big early wins, which gave me confidence that I could win more and more in the future. No matter the losses, I clinged on to the hope I could win it back. Gamble my way out of trouble. As you would’ve seen from previous blogs, I’m at my lowest when the realisation that I can’t win that money back sets in – when I have no money at all left. Once I’ve lost my last bet. This could quite easily then turn to me being an escapist gambler. I’m in so much trouble, sometimes I want to forget my troubles that I turn to gambling to keep me distracted. But, for me that never happened. I haven’t become an escapist gambler. Not really. At the heart I know what has drawn me back in the past is the lure of a big win, rather than using it as a method of escape or distraction. It’s important to know what type of gambler you are – I believe that’s central to admitting your problems, but also identifying trigger cues, and how then to help prevent yourself from gambling in the future. So I ask again – what type of gambler are you? If you don’t know, ask yourself why you started gambling in the first place to get your answer. If you try to answer why you gamble now, if you’re a long way down the wrong road like I am, then it’s very easy for the lines to get blurred. Leave a Reply. |
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