Christmas is always a tough time of year for those dealing with a gambling addiction; usually because there’s no money in the bank, no spare amounts on credit cards, overdue bills to pay, yet you’re expected to join in for work drinks, buy Christmas presents, and be a little indulgent. I remember last year was a real struggle; I have around 15 to 20 credit cards, and the most I had spare on any of them was less than £5. Therefore I couldn’t actually buy anyone what they put on their Christmas lists – I had to buy various small items. Really annoying when places run promotions where you get free delivery or a free gift if you spend a certain amount of money! But now I reflect, and remember that Christmas is about seeing your friends and family and your loved ones. It doesn’t have to be expensive; you can make Christmas cards rather than buying them and you can use old Christmas cards to make wrapping paper, or use an old box and decorate it with pictures & colours. Sure, it’s not traditional, but it actually shows some thought and effort and people always appreciate that. What’s the point in following the crowd, anyway? It’s also easily to feel lonely at Christmas – all your friends might be out for drinks or dinner, but you just can’t afford to go. You can’t afford to go into London to go to the Christmas market, because it’s just too expensive. But why not use that time for your DIY cards/wrapping paper? I find that whilst friends and family will go to some places that’s just too expensive for me to go to, they’re also around at home an awful lot too, I just found myself concentrating on what I can’t do, rather than focussing on what I can. And that’s a small mind-set shift. There’s something called meta-programmes in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), which help explain how we tend to think about situations. We all have a natural way of thinking about things, but we can learn to understand this and tap into it. Take work, for example. If I were to ask you why you work, you may decide to say “because I have to. Because I need the money. To keep a roof over my head”. All very true, and valid, points. But you could also say “because I get to learn new things. I get to try for promotion which gives me a feeling of achievement. I get to socialise and talk to colleagues. I get to test myself and push myself by doing important presentations”. Or maybe simply that you get free coffee and cake. These are two different mind-sets all around the same thing: work. Let’s apply the same thing to Christmas; I always used to dwell on what I couldn’t do, the struggles, how I’d be in a much better position if I hadn’t gambled and didn’t have all of this debt. But why not try to shift this mind-set slightly, by looking at the good things – time to relax, time with family and friends, and possibly a few days off work too. It’s easier said than done, of course, but maybe if you catch yourself looking at the negative side of things, you could make a subtle change in your way of thinking and it may just make this period a whole load easier! Leave a Reply. |
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